Director: Sam Raimi
Cast: Alison Lohman, Justin Long, Lorna Raver, Reggie Lee
Following his decade-long sojourn into spidey movies and feel-good flicks, Evil Dead/Army of Darkness director Sam Raimi made his splashy return to horror with 2009’s Drag Me to Hell. It wasn’t great.
Drag Me to Hell gets right down to brass tacks (or should that be tactless?) with its funky 1980s appetiser, which reveals the hellish horrors of a gypsy curse, served up with a healthy splash of Aldi-bought CG sauce. Jumping ahead to the now, we meet bank clerk Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) – she’s plagued by her pudgy past and she’ll do anything for a promotion, which in this case means evicting an old Romanian hag from her trinket -filled trailer. The phlegmy, toothless Mrs Ganush (Lorna Raver) takes it personally, condemning Christine to an eternity of suffering and servility… in HELL!
Why does Christine’s BF have such a long face? Oh that’s right, he’s Justin Long.
This could have been a tongue-in-cheek riot, but instead, Sam Raimi opted for a more serious Exorcist cum Christopher Marlowe vibe; seance silliness and odious over-acting take up most of the running time. In consideration of Raimi’s past, a riotous non-stop shockathon would have been just what the voodoo-doctor ordered. There are a couple of scares, but they’re stretched sparse by the woeful dialogue. In fact, the actual hell-dragging never really kicks in; the hellish dialogue, however, drags on for more than long enough.
Does the eyecing on this cake look peculiar to you?
Bonus pun: What a horrible image, I must ex-sponge from my mind!
Bonus pun: Where did they buy that dessert, Lid-l?
Bonus pun: That cake is riddled with currants of all kinds – lashings of them, in fact.