IMDb’s Most Uninteresting Trivial Facts

CoolStory

So, OK, right, well, alright, so, you know when you’re watching a film and maybe there are some advertisements or perhaps you get bored with a certain sideplot, or your attention span is simply shot to shit from years of reddit lurking, and then you end up browsing the internet movie database’s (IMDb) page for the previously mentioned movie you’re supposedly watching; take a took at the cast, see who composed that soundtrack, have a quick looksee if this guy in this film who looks like that guy in that film is, in fact, the same guy as that guy in that film…

Before you know it you’ve missed an entire scene just by reading up on the cast. Then comes the trivia. Ah, the trivia. An online goldmine of some of the most fascinating, unbelievable, bizarre, crazy movie-related facts of all motion picture history. But interesting trivia facts are not what this post will be about. This post will be about the most pathetic, boring, useless pieces of information that a human has ever penned to page.

To accompany these forlorn scraps of trivial dirt are the statistics of IMDb users who’ve rated the fact a ‘thumbs up’ or ‘thumbs down’, plus, as always, some colourful (borderline edgy) Movie Quibble commentary.

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Jurassic World (2015)

Jurassic World meme

  • Chris Pratt’s character’s first name is Owen. In The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997), Vince Vaughn played a character with the last name of Van Owen.  (55 of 291 found this interesting)

Much worse than this is to come, but this right here is exemplary of the sort of stultifying, tenuously strung together nonsense making up the scrapheap of superfluous trivia found at the bottom of each film page. To demonstrate what constitutes an actual interesting piece of trivia: one of the user approved ‘most interesting’ facts about Jurassic World reveals that, in 2010, Chris Pratt made a behind the scenes video for Parks and Rec season two, back when he was a fat functioning alcoholic, pretending that he’d just been offered the lead in Jurassic Park 4. Four years later, he got cast as the lead in Jurassic Park 4. Now THAT is an interesting fact, mates. Too spooky 4 me. 

  • Dane County airport, which is where Zach and Gray depart to travel to the park, is in Madison, Wisconsin. In reality, it has only 13 gates. Not 3 terminals as displayed on the signage while the family is saying goodbye. (18 of 74)
  • This is the only Jurassic Park film that didn’t show either a pterodactyl, a pterosaurs, a pteranodon, or a pelican in an ending sequence. (5 of 14)

Taking their word for it on this one, as who could be bothered to verify it? What’s most amusing about this factual chunklet is the idea of this person sitting in a cinema with baited breath throughout the full 124 minute run time of Jurassic World to find out if, as in the past three Jurassic Park movies, the ending sequence will feature either a pterodactyl, a pterosaurus, a pteranodon, or a pelican. One of those animals doesn’t fit into that lineup, does it? Also there had only been three films in the Jurassic Park series up until this point, but there are four animals listed. So, which ones appeared in which? Was there all three dinosaurs in the final scene of I and II, but in III just a lone pelican chilling out? What was the one that had more than one of those creatures on screen at the end? We MUST know!

  • All the Mercedes vehicles in the movie are production models. The G63 AMG 6X6 can be custom ordered. (17 of 36)

Thanks for the info, online marketing team of Mercedes. Super useful tips brahs. 

Jurassic World Mercedes

  • Jurassic World features many Samsung products including Samsung displays in the lab, Samsung Galaxy phones, Samsung Galaxy Tab tablets, the Samsung Galaxy Gear wearable during the dinosaur hunt and the Samsung Innovation Center building. In addition, the main building is named the “Samsung Visitor’s Center”. (26 of 53)

 50% of people feel outrageously excessive Samsung  product placement is interesting = Half of all humans are scum.   

  • When Judy Greer calls Bryce Dallas Howard, the 608 area code appears on the cell phone’s caller ID (with the traditional filmic 555 prefix) and the city listed as Madison. This is the actual area code for Madison and most of the surrounding Wisconsin cities. The family van also features a Wisconsin state license plate and Ty Simpkins makes mention of the Dane County airport, which is the actual county name where Madison is located. (40 of 51)

I’m going against the crowd on this one and vouching from my own knowledge of my life that this actual fact is in fact not actually interesting. 

Jurassic World VFX

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The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974)

Pelham 123 Hijack

  • The original film is considered a classic while the remake is considered better than expected. (0 of 4)

Really? Wow!

  • In both this and the 2009 remake, the hijackers have different names from the novel. (0 of 3)

“Oh look at me I read the novel, the film is not as good as the book, OHHHHHH!”

  • Grier is calmer in the novel and in the film, but in the 2009 remake, he’s a lot angrier and his name is Ryder like in the novel (0 of 3)

“Yeah other things happen in the film which are not like in the novel, OHHHH, get this, the film isn’t as good as the book which I have read, and it really has no relevance to the film and is definitely not trivia, but I’ll keep going anyway!”

  • The equivalent of Garver in the novel is a man called Prescott, an operations lieutenant and a minor character who views the escape from transit police headquarters.  (0 of 3)

“I’ve fucking read the book and you fucking haven’t you troglodyte! Seen the film have you? Not as good as the fucking novel though is it?! Oh, yeah, right, you wouldn’t have a clue would you? Pleb.”

  • In the novel, Grier is a methodical criminal mastermind, like Robert Shaw, but in the 2009 remake, John Travolta plays it differently and his name is Ryder like in the novel. (0 of 4)

“The Taking of Pelham One Two Three is the only novel I have ever read. I just wanted people to know that I read it. It took me seven weeks. And it’s only because my carer banned me from watching the 1974 original and the John Travolta-starring remake, because apparently watching each of them twice a day is “bad for my anxiety and mental health”. But what does that prick know? Nothing. Not now that I’ve killed him. Now I can watch  The Taking of Pelham One Two Three over and over, and again, and again, and over again, and again, and again, and over”. 

  • Body count 5. (3 of 4)

This came in the spoiler section. While there’s no way to track them, I like to think that the person who wrote this systematically tallies up the deaths which occur in every film or television programme that they watch, and when its done they leave the number in the trivia section. Their calling card. Their only joy in life. 

Pelham 123 Final Shot

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Everest (2015)

Everest 1

  • Jason Clarke, who plays Rob Hall, also plays John Connor in Terminator Genisys. In the Terminator saga, John Connor’s mother is Sarah Connor. In Everest, Rob Hall want to name her unborn daughter, “Sarah”. (4 of 17)

The way this is typed out makes it seem as though they started writing it as they were figuring it out in their head.

  • This will be Walden Media’s first film with Universal Pictures. It will also be the company’s second film to receive a PG-13 rating by the Motion Picture Association of America, with the first being is The Given. (13 of 33)

The first being in it is in going to be being the The Given with Walden media in with Universal Studios being working on in it together on the film which was the one before the second, the second of ones being here is this one the movie Everest.

Everest Gyllenhaal

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Mission Impossible – Rogue Nation (2015)

Mission Impossible Rogue Nation Scream

This picture looks so much like a still from an underperforming BB3 sitcom it hurts. Maybe it’d be number 8 on the Most Popular BBC Iplayer list for 24 hours after the pilot aired, then ratings would nosedive and it wouldn’t even make it onto the list again (except for once, at the number 9 spot for two days, with the episode guest starring, let’s say, Matt Berry) and then then it wouldn’t get picked up for a second series.

  • Up until this movie, there was an odd pattern that the Mission: Impossible films followed. In the odd numbered Mission: Impossible films (the first and third films), Ethan had shorted hair than in the even numbered films (the second and fourth films). However, in this film, Ethan has longer hair than in Mission: Impossible (1996) and Mission: Impossible III (2006). (4 of 20)

4 out of 20 – Stoner theory that Tom Cruise is a Bilderberg founding member and also a witch, confirmed.

Mission Impossible Cruise-inati

  • The trailer for this film was released on March 23rd. Michelle Monaghan and Keri Russell appeared in earlier Mission Impossible movies and also share the same birthday, March 23rd. (55 of 205)

What absolute freak…? Not even the film, just the trailer for the film. Those 55 positive votes were out of fear – some people daren’t piss off the kind of person that keeps track of information like this and feels the need to share it with the internet. Suppose it was Tom Cruise that wrote it – he just thought he’d unveil a small sliver of his omniscience with this mind blowing connection. What if, though? What. If?

Mission Impossible pyramid theory

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Inherent Vice (2014)

  • Inherent Vice partyPaul Thomas Anderson’s first comedic film since Punch-Drunk Love (2002). (18 of 66)

I object to this being described as a fact. This is opinion, because each person’s sense of humour is subjective so I’ll express mine: You’re wrong mate and piss off. Safe. 

  • This film’s cast features show-biz connections that are inherently vice-like in their twining, including: the brother of the late River Phoenix, the brother of Luke Wilson, the brother of Julia Roberts, the sister of Kristin Scott Thomas, the daughter of Sam Waterston, the son of James Brolin, the daughter of Elaine May (Jeannie Berlin ), the wife of Andy Samberg (Joanna Newsom), and the partner of Paul Thomas Anderson (Maya Rudolph ). (41 of 145)

In what way are these connections ‘inherently vice-like’ in their ‘twining’? People have relatives and significant others. People who are well established in the world of showbiz are more likely to have a higher proportion of relatives and significant others who are also in showbiz than what non-famous people have. 

Bye. Oh, if you actually read all of this: Why? Please leave your comments and feedback below. Or message me if you want to keep a secret of the fact that you read all of this.

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