IMDb’s Most Uninteresting Trivial Facts II: Spectre Double-O-Deary-Deary-Me Edition

SpectreSkeltal

More like Spooktre, right guys? Shiver me timbers!

Following up on the stratospheric success of the debut IMDb’s MUTF (Internet Movie Database’s Most Uninteresting Trivial Facts), this post once again seeks out  the strangest and most nebulous trivia facts written about films on the internet. Trivia facts researched and penned by reclusive psychotics who would almost certainly poison me if they found out I’d dedicated a blog series to making fun of what they personally believe to be the most interesting facets of filmmaking and the behind the scenes chicanery of the movie business . Who’s the real loser, though: The person writing one or two ‘facts’, or the person reading through hundreds upon hundreds of them to find the limited number which fit the parameters of the niche form of satirical commentary this inconsequential film blogging website generates on a monthly basis?  Evidently, not the second one. Not. Not the second.

Initially there were ten films lined up for trivia inspection, but that went out the window when the sheer size of Spectre’s trivia list was discovered. If you were to print it on a single sheet of scroll – the sort on which kingly decrees were calligraphically scrawled – then it would stretch from your hands to maybe the nearest sink. The format is the same as before: a ‘trivia’ is copy pasted from the trivia section of the film, along with figures of how many people approved or disapproved it, plus any explanatory breakdown deemed necessary to elucidate just why said trivia piece is so uninteresting. Which, for most of them, is not necessary. They speak for themselves.

SpectreVillansPoster

  • The 007th cinema movie directed by English film and stage director Sam Mendes. (6 of 33 found this interesting)

If you think this has set the bar pretty low then just you wait. Get ready everybody! It’s trivia limbo!

  • The character name of Spectre (2015) henchman [Mr.] “Hinx” (Dave Bautista) rhymes with the name of Bond Girl “Jinx” (Halle Berry) from the earlier James Bond film Die Another Day (2002). (1 of 15)

Sean Connery sounds rather similar to Bank Robbery, which must mean that he is secretly a high-end bullion thief/smuggler, and uses his renowned celebrity name as a decoy to get away with murder (not literally, he gets away with bank robbery, which is still a serious crime) as well as domestic abuse – that part is well documented – and then stockpiles his shiny swag in a secret underwater lair in the, you guessed it, Thames [James] Pond [Bond].

  • Second Daniel Craig James Bond movie to feature a desert landscape after the first which was Quantum of Solace (2008) which was made and released around 007 years prior to Spectre (2015). (2 of 22)

What’s more, Quantum of Solace came out in 2008 (2 Double-O 8) and 2 plus two 0s plus an 8 makes ten which, if subtracted by 007 gives you 9.93 which is the mean average number of unnamed henchmen killed by Daniel Craig per James Bond film.

Pressing further still, we discover that two people found this observation regarding desert landscapes to be interesting – what you may not have noticed is that Quantum of Solace’s and Spectre’s jokes were both written by Jez Butterworth. Butterworth, infamous for his dry humour, intentionally sets his stories against backdrops reflecting his taste in wordplay and tomfoolery – hence the reappearance of arid landscapes.

The tacking on of that ‘007 years’ onto the end like that, though. This is real low stuff we’re dealing with here. Does human depravity know no limit?

  • The movie was released in the same 2015 year as the James Bond novel “Trigger Mortis” by Anthony Horowitz. The book was first published on 8th September 2015 which was about 007 weeks prior to the world premiere of Spectre (2015). (1 of 15)

Trigger Mortis! Oh how delicious!

  • First James Bond film to open in an odd numbered year in sixteen years with the last having been The World Is Not Enough (1999). Before that, the last Bond film to open on an even numbered year was twenty-five years earlier with The Man with the Golden Gun (1974). (1 of 4)

Trainspotting’s Sick Boy has finally cleaned himself up and got off the gear. Now he spends his time perusing the Wikipedia pages of James Bond films and haunting the Ian Fleming Worship forums correcting people’s mistaken beliefs about the chronological release of the movies in relation to the written order of the books, while highlighting the astrological significance of their timing to those less in tune with the  all-surrounding cosmos. Where he gets off, none can say.  He should go back to smack.

SpectreSickBoyTrivia

SCHMAAAAAAACK

  • The production shoot on this picture was exspectred to run for around 007 months but with re-shoots principal photography went for about eight months. (8 of 53)

What exactly is 0.07 months? Like, a half hour? I think it’s about a half hour. If someone could do the maths on that, that would be great. Hopefully you spotted the  ‘exspectred’ error in the trivia fact . That was no accident, they mi5spelled it on purpose.

  • Some movie posters for the film feature Daniel Craig as James Bond with the film’s leading Bond Girl Madeleine Swann (Léa Seydoux) the latter of whom is wearing a blue dress. Seydoux has recently starred in an erotic French film called “Blue is the Warmest Colour”. That French film’s French title is “La vie d’Adèle” – Adele having sung the Oscar winning title theme song for Skyfall (2012), the predecessor Bond movie to Spectre (2015). (4 of 19)

Clarifying that it was not Daniel Craig who wore the blue dress in the Spectre promos was definitely a necessity. Imagine the confusion! Note the expertly woven connections of this shitpost. Not one vague, pathetically limp and nonsensical comparison, but two! A stunning achievement.

SpectreBlueDressButMoreSilveryGrey

Yes, that is definitely more of a silvery-grey colour, not blue.

  • Spectre (2015) is the 007th James Bond film to have a one word title. The earlier movies were… [Person proceeds to name all the films and who starred in them]… James Bond actors Timothy Dalton and George Lazenby never appeared in a one-word titled James Bond picture though the latter’s On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969) can be abbreviated as the one word acronym “OHMSS”. (12 of 36)

“Run that by us one more time”.

 “OHMSS”.

“Nah, still not…not quite catching that. Is it a word though?”

“OHMSS. OHMSS. Like, Om, and Ms, but with an H in the middle. Om-H-Mss. OMHSS”.

“Again, I mean, it’s not really sounding all there. How is that a word? And couldn’t you by that reasoning just say in the trivia posting that ALL James Bond films that do not use a one word title can all be abbreviated into single words that are not actual words and therefore make no sense? Why only On Her Majesty’s Secret Service? Why that specifically? DAD, for example. That’s the abbreviation of Die Another Die and is also a word people say. ”

“Shut up, Phil. I’m posting it.”

  • Michael G. Wilson:  Uncredited, as a man, alongside his son Gregg Wilson, who also performs a cameo in the same scene, in the sequence where “M” (Ralph Fiennes) calls “C” aka Denbigh (Andrew Scott) a “cocky little bastard”. (12 of 22)
  • Gregg Wilson:  Uncredited, the associate producer, and son of producer Michael G. Wilson, who also performs a cameo in the same scene, as a man in the sequence where “M” (Ralph Fiennes) calls “C” aka Denbigh (Andrew Scott) a “cocky little bastard”. (4 of 8)

Two trivias for the price of one with this gem of a find. Who doesn’t love a good producer cameo and a good producer’s son (who also happens to be an associate producer) cameo? Much more interest generated for the father than the son among the IMDb cohorts. Don’t get yourself down, Gregg – your day will come.

  • In the year Two Double-O Seven, Bond Girl lead actress Léa Seydoux appeared in French director Catherine Breillat’s French film The Last Mistress (2007) (aka ” The Last Mistress” aka “Une Vieille Matresse” aka “An Old Mistress”) which also featured French actor [blah blah blehh] (1 of 18)

Two Double O-Seven? Are you kidding me? This person’s a maniac! (aka “Maniac” aka “Fetish Killer” aka “Madman” akala “Disturbed in the head” which translates into Catalonian as “An slimy internet piece of human filth” aka “A dirty lowlife who puts olive oil on cereal” also known as “A social outcast who would be stoned to death if they lived a thousand years ago” ak-alias “Twatter” ak47 “ISIS rejectee” akalphabetsoup “Frëak”.

  • The movie features a story element referring to “L’Americain” [The American]. Reportedly, star George Clooney was once considered for the role of James Bond for Casino Royale (2006). Apparently, producer Barbara Broccoli originally wanted Clooney for the role and eventually met him to discuss the part, but Clooney turned it down, saying something like I’m American and it wasn’t right for James Bond, James Bond is English and not American. (0 of 1)

First off, shall we just list every single American thing that could feasibly (or infeasibly, even) be related to the selection of the name L’Americain in the James Bond movie Spectre?

Rick’s Café Americain is where most of the film Casablanca takes place – Rick (played by AMERICAN Humprhey Bogart) is an AMERICAN ex-pat who also happens to be an alcoholic – although this is more of a joking matter and never stated outright, it is certainly implicit in Rick’s darkly humorous allusions to his drinking problem and in the ceaseless on-screen consumption of cocktails and straight spirits by the hopelessly romantic hero. James Bond, too, is a clinically diagnosed alcoholic, and while he never deals with the issue head on it crops up repeatedly as a serious hindrance to his emotional development. In Spectre, when Bond is asked by a Health ‘Expert’ how much he drinks, he smiles wryly and states “Too much”, before having an anxiety attack at the downstairs lobby bar which cannot serve him a martini since they do not sell alcohol. What surely does not help Bond is the enabling mega-million sponsorship deal he has with Heineken, which contractually obliges him to drink three of their lager beers per film-hour while sitting in a reclined position, brooding.

SpectreArcherHangover

Moreover, the actor who plays the main villain in James Bond movie no. 24, Christoph Waltz, has won two AMERICAN Oscars for his acting, which were awarded to him in AMERICA.

Second of all, don’t declare to have certain trivia knowledge of an incident that occurred between two filmmaking professionals before going on make this blurry statement: “saying something like I’m American and it wasn’t right for James Bond”. Something like? Either say he said it, or have the direct quotes from the article or interview, but don’t go off your own unreliable memory while admitting that you aren’t even sure. Goodness me!

  • Andrew Scott plays the role of Moriarty in Sherlock (2010). In the TV series, that role is played by Jared Harris, son of actor Richard Harris, whose younger brother, Dermot Harris, was the first husband of actress Cassandra Harris, who played the Bond Girl Lisl Baum in the Bond film For Your Eyes Only (1981), who around that time was the wife of former Bond actor star Pierce Brosnan. (5 of 38)

The excitement as they pieced this connective chain together in their mind must have been overwhelming. You can picture them erupting right out their cinema seat, spoiling the movie for everyone else in the packed auditorium as they yell at the top of their voice, “Using the power of degrees of separation I have formed a convoluted link from one unrelated thing to another. I am like a Wikipedia binge in human form! ” One day they will realise that actors often work more than once and have siblings/relatives who also work in the same business of making movies. They too often work on more than one thing. Sometimes, they meet other people, as well. It’s a mad, mad world.

  • When the Spectre (2015) title of the film, previously known as “Bond 24”, was announced in early December 2014, an American Southern television news anchorwoman mis-pronounced Spectre (2015) as “Specktree”. Moreover, the Serbian spelling of the film’s title spells the name differently as “Spektar”. (9 of 22).

SpectreCoolStoryBro

  • In late October 2012, The Daily Mail’s ‘Mail Online’ incorrectly reported that this picture is already in pre-production and planned to start principal photography around October 2013 with the aim to launch in theaters in Autumn 2014. (26 of 57)

The Daily Mail thought something, and wrote about it without fact checking, and then put it onto their website. Where’s the story here?

  • First ever consecutive Bond film which has the same number of letters, begins with the same letter, and has the same number of syllables, as the previous Bond film, which was Skyfall (2012). (13 of 58)

Apparently this idiot worked their way through each of the 24 Bond films, analysing all the names, without spotting the identically anagrammatical ‘The Wold is Not Enough’ and ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’ twinned titles. No accounting for people’s stupidity, is there?

  • An octopus is the traditional symbol of the criminal organization SPECTRE (SPecial Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion). The name of the criminal organization in the James Bond video-game James Bond 007: From Russia with Love (2005) is OCTOPUS which was used instead of SPECTRE at the time for legal reasons. (3 of 8)

OCTOPUS: Organisation of Counter-counter (note the double negative) Terrorist Organising Planners and Ukulele… Slags

  • A farmer in Obertilliach, Austria named two baby calves that were born on the first day of filming in the region “Léa” and “Daniel” after the film’s two major stars Léa Seydoux and Daniel Craig who play love interests in the film. (2 of 5)

‘Love interests in the film’ – Those poor, poor baby cows. Doomed to incest before they’re a day old. Any guesses as to what other horrors they are destined for? No? Well, the male calf Daniel will probably be beefed up in a metal crate for several weeks and have his throat slit, then be sold and eaten practically raw by an overweight Austrian carnist.

Meanwhile, lovely little Léa will be repeatedly artificially pumped full of bull semen as soon as she develops breeding capabilities, and will remain continually pregnant (with her calves taken away immediately after birth for human use, as she was from her mother) until the day when she can no longer breed and therefore cannot keep on lactating the breast milk which was meant for her babies (but which of course was taken for humans to put in their hot drinks and on their sugar rice flakes), at which point she will be electrocuted and stabbed to death, before her decaying, pathogen and hormone-riddled corpse is gobbled up by an overweight Austrian. Possibly even the same one who had Daniel. This is the reality of the dairy and beef industry. Goodbye.   

I Love Animals

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