Originally written for NewsThump.com
Acclaimed filmmaker Peter Jackson is still shooting additional scenes for his extended edition version of The Hobbit trilogy, it has been reported. The New Zealand born director, who has been adapting the child’s bedtime story written by J.R.R. Tolkien since 2010, is said to have lost his mind, gone ‘gold mad’ like the dwarven king Thorin Oakenshield.
Warner Brothers studios have distanced themselves from the ongoing and relentless filming schedule, which Middle Earth fans have labelled as deranged and despicable . “We stopped funding The Hobbit trilogy film series shortly after the Blu Ray collector’s editions were released in 2015”, said one Warner Brothers producer while drafting yet another apology letter and out of court settlement to his secretary. “The cast and crew are now being paid in Air New Zealand miles. It’s a real mess out there”.
Jackson, however, has no intention of stopping, and in fact seems hell bent on expanding the motion picture adaptation of The Hobbit into a seven part saga that is set to include the Adventures of Tom Bombadil and the very first time Bilbo smoked the finest weed in the South Farthing.
To maintain his prodigious work rate – he directs for 22 hours a day – Jackson reportedly drinks between ten and twenty teas per hour, each with a dozen sugars in them. “He has at least switched to soy milk, so that’s something”, said Legolas impersonator Orlando Bloom, whose lack of artistic integrity has been integral to the making of The Hobbit expanded trilogy.
The Hobbit: Definitive Directorial Edition, which comes with a plastic replica Arkenstone, will boast a running time of over two days long. Christopher Tolkien, son of the original author, had this to say: “Erebor? Might like Ere-bore! Take that, Jackson!”
In the video below, courtesy of the world’s number one film review show On Cinema at the Cinema, you can watch Peter Jackson at his finest on the set of The Hobbit: The Journey to the Desolation of the Five Armies Part One of Three. And by finest, I do of course mean worst.